I met him our first year hear at Cornell in 2008. Jason (not his real name) was an average guy coming from a Christian home. He grew up going to church with his family, and hearing all the classic Bible stories.
We first interacted when he started coming to our freshmen guys Bible study. Most weeks I would see him as we got together and discussed different stories of Jesus' interaction with people in the Gospel of John. He had thoughtful and accurate comments in our discussions.
One point at the end of Jason's freshmen year, Doug (my campus trainer) got some time with Jason to see where he was at with Christ (we would do this with all the guys in our study). Jason shared with Doug frankly about his struggles with doubt and questions about whether God really existed and if he (Jason) cared or not. This was a interesting and helpful conversation.
After our his freshmen year, when we arrived for our second year here at Cornell in the fall, Jason was hard to get a hold of. He wouldn't show up to Bible study or Nav-Night. And when I did see him, he would say that it wasn't a priority to him, he had other things he wanted to do. I could tell he felt a bit bad telling me so.
Eventually in early December of last year I asked Jason to grab lunch to see where he was at in life and with Christ. We had a great frank conversation about his doubts, fears, and questions. During our conversation I felt a prompting to offer a challenge to him. I asked him if he would consider getting together with me in the Spring of 2010 on a weekly basis and take a fresh look of Jesus in the Gospels. I asked him to lay aside his assumptions with me and investigate who Christ is. Jason said, "Yea, okay."
So this Spring semester, we have been getting together weekly and discussing all sorts of different truths from the Scriptures. We looked at everything from the idolatry and dissatisfaction of sin to what our identity is as a believer in Jesus Christ. We have had a wonderful time together digging into the Bible.
In the last few weeks of our time together this semester, Jason has been asking different questions than before. Usually his questions centered around who is God, how He is the authority, and what He requires of us. But in recent weeks be began asking questions like, "If I became a Christian, what could I expect life to be like? What would it be about?" or "If I became a Christian, how can I glorify God with my major and my career? Don't I have to become a full-time Christian minister?"
Eventually, as we discussed these various questions, Jason began to say things like, "I feel like it is inevitable that I will become a Christian." and "I know I have to and that I want to give my life to Christ, but I'm hesitating. I'm nervous. I know that if I commit to this, then there is no turning back, my life will change forever."
These statements about blew me away! The way Jason was counting the cost made sense, but it sill just rocked me. I was amazed to see the grip that God had on his life. Beautiful.
So I shared verses about making a decision to follow Christ with him a few weeks ago. We looked at John 1:12. "For to all who received him, to those who believed in his name he gave the right to become children of God." and Revelation 3:20, "Behold, I stand at the door and knock, whoever hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him and he with me."
When I shared those verses with him, Jason said, "Yea, that's it. That's how I feel. It's like I'm standing at the door, I just need to walk through it."
Needless to say we have been earnestly petitioning the Father to bring Jason into the Kingdom as a child of God for the last several weeks in a new way! On Tuesday, April 27th, we got together for our weekly meeting as usual. We talked about life and caught up, then I asked him how things are going with his questions, doubts, and struggles with believing in Jesus as his Lord and savior. Jason sort of hesitated and then said, "Well, last week I did it. I went to the chapel on campus and told God that I wanted to follow Him."
I almost thought I didn't hear him right ...
After blinking away the initial tidal wave of shock and joy, I asked him, "So what was the tipping point for you? What helped you make that decision?"
"Well", He said, "I just felt like, 'Okay God, you win.'"
A few days later he mentioned, "I just thought, 'I have no reason not to.'" and "I thought of how sinful I was, but how God still reaches out to me." and "I just said, 'I'll follow you. Show me what to do.'"
I hardly had anything to say; but I was rejoicing in spirit!
Jason went on to say a myriad of other amazing statements when describing his present state like:
"But now, I don't know how to act! I don't know how to love others. I don't know how to love Christ." and "How does God become my fulfillment? My satisfaction? My joy?" and "The only reason I wanted to become a Christian was to be loved."
Since that meeting, Jason and I have been getting together every day for about an hour to help him get "rooted and built up in Him, and established in the faith" (Colossians 2:6). As I expected, Jason was consumed by doubts within those first week of surrendering his life to Christ. He said to me in our meeting on Tuesday, "I thought I had dealt with all my doubts; but now they seem to have come back and stronger than before!" He had doubts like, "How is God the moral standard and judge? Isn't he just a tyrannical God?" I reassured him that I was not surprised by or nervous about this recent wave of doubt, I told him that I expected our Adversary, the Accuser, to attack him in his new faith in Christ. I told Jason that the Accuser's goal is to convince him that what he experienced this semester, and especially recently, isn't real. That it is/was just an emotional rush and purely a sensational feeling. Often the lies sound like this, "Besides, you're too sinful to be a Christian. You're sins aren't really forgiven. You aren't good enough. God can't accept you."
For we know Satan's crafty ways from Scripture, "... for the accuser of our brothers ... who accuses them day and night before our God." But Scripture also tells us as believers in Jesus Christ we can take heart, because Christ has "overcome the world" (John 16:33). And we have the power in Christ to resist, and eventually conquer, Satan "by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their [our] testimony" (Revelation 12:11).
We are never totally free from doubts as believers in Christ, but we do not have to be ruled by them. And thanks to God's grace & the power of the Holy Spirit residing within him, Jason has been walking more and more firmly in the faith every day.
Lately his questions and our conversations have been directed toward discerning what our new life in Christ looks like, in regards to our identity in Christ as well as our daily lived life. It has been an absolute joy to walk with Jason through this season of life! I can echo the Apostle John's feeling he penned in 3 John 4 "I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth."
It has now been over 2.5 weeks since Jason surrendered to Christ. It has been exciting and encouraging to hear of how the Holy Spirit has been convicting him of sin, prodding and guiding him to make daily decisions to follow Christ, and a growing hunger and thirst to love and obey God. Truly, awesome.
Unfortunately, Lindsay and I will be moving on in life and ministry this summer (as you hopefully read in our April Newsletter). I just wish I could have the privilege of continuing to disciple Jason in this crucial season of life. But, God has a different plan. Though I am comforted knowing that Doug (my trainer) will be continuing to help Jason grow and mature in this new life in Christ!
Please pray Ephesians 1:16-22 with me for Jason: "I do not cease to give thank for you, remembering you in my prayers, that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give you a spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of him, having the eyes of your hearts enlightened, that you may know what is the hope to which he has called you, what are the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and what is the immeasurable greatness of his power towards us who believe, according to the working of his great might that he worked in Christ when he raised him from the dead ..."
I take comfort from Paul's words in Philippians 1:6 "And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ."
Thank you for laboring with us here in the Lord's harvest fields at Cornell University! Truly you have helped change lives for the glory of God. Paul speaks what is on our hearts for you "I thank my God in all my remembrance of you, always in every prayer of mine for you all making my prayer with joy, because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now." Philippians 1:3-5
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